Love in the 20th century

 

Love in the twentieth century

 

He said…

Hey girl, I wanna be with you forever.

Let’s hang out tomorrow, we can watch the sunset together.

Hey girl let me make all your dreams come true, show you how I can complete you.

Now what do you have to say to that?

 

She said…

Hey boy, i’ve been looking for someone like you.

The moment you first said my name, nothings ever sounded so good.

Hey boy i’m gonna give you my heart, this seem’s like a good way to start

I’ve never really ever been sure about anything before

Now show me how happy you are about the life were gonna start
He paused…

… Hey girl, I didn’t really mean anything I said

I honestly just liked you in bed, you’ve sorta got me nervous with this forever stuff

Where’d you get the idea we’d be any good at all.

Hey girl let’s not rush, let’s just enjoy right now and il talk to you when I can

See you when I see you. Do you understand?
She opened her mouth to speak…

And she broke.

Where did I go?

 

<3

You make me feel like dancing, you make me feel young. Not that typical teenage feeling, it’s more like the first time I saw the sun. Or maybe it was the northern lights or the reflection of the moon on water. Either way these beautiful sights, could only draw me to one conclusion. That the world was really beautiful and i’d always have a reason to smile. I was blessed to exist in this crazy world at the right time, lucky to meet you in the right place. Happy we didn’t give in and worked hard and gave each other a chase. I feel like your a part of me, you always make my heart race. I used to be scared of the feeling cause it was overwhelming and I didn’t know in what way. Now I know. I hope this will always be the way it stays. I really do love you.

KandisMarie

Marijuana

Now, before I write i’d like to say i’m not against anybody who enjoys it or doesn’t. I neither advocate it or discriminate against it, everything I relay here is strictly my own opinion and based around my own personal experiences. In saying that i’d like to start off with a few question, is pot good for some people and bad for others? Are their certain people who thrive from smoking it and certain people who feel less then themselves from it? If pot’s legalized should it be treated as maybe not a luxury, but as a priviledge? It seems to me that aside from the scientific arguments going on about whether it’s harmful to ones body or beneficial, we should also be examining it psychologically and through an array of peoples perceptions and experiences. For every person reacts to things differentely, no ones personal experience is exactly the same.

To delve into my first question “is pot good for some and bad for others” essentially what im asking is if certain people find they perform better and if certain people find they perform worse. Do certain people find they have an increased sense for feeling or percieving others/their own anxiety. As well as certain people who find they lose all anxiety and can just relax and enjoy every moment way more then they could if they were not under it’s effects. This specific question interests me because I have certain friends who use it in every aspect of their life work/sex/school or during emotionally stressful or physically strained times and they seem to only experience positive outcomes or be benefited from it. Never hindered, no negative repercusions(aside from the cherries and berries). Where as (and I include myself in this) other friends of mine who have smoked it for a number of years (who knows why they still continue) seem to have a heightened sense towards any and all anxiety, including that of others. They develope a lack of focus making it difficult to perform well at work or school and the only positive area they share with those who thrive from it is the mutual agreement that it relieves pain. I don’t understand or have an answer to why it’s so different. It’s almost unfair. My only theory I have towards it so far is are some people just more content relying on something else for their peace of mind? While others are more content relying more on themselves?

When I smoke weed I feel as if every single person I meet is seeing all the worst parts of me (this is false and not actually occuring but it is how I feel). I’m aware while im thinking all of this that these people are my friends and nothing im thinking is true but still my mind persists. Where as when I don’t smoke I feel like my friends genuinely enjoy me and are accurately percieving me as a person. Even more strange is im completely opposite of my outgoing nature when I smoke, rather then being loud and smiley and everywhere. Im incredibly relaxed and I smile but I have no desire to speak to anyone, where as it seems like my mind has taken on my sober personality in whole. As it goes a mile a minute and I think about everything from A to Z. The majority of my friends im smoking with however say they don’t really think of anything unless their smoking alone. They all also socialize just as well baked as they do when their not baked. This puzzles me because I don’t understand why I can’t be that way. (I don’t try anymore, I quit smoking weed after smoking it for four years as my result never changed.)

Now when I say treated as a priviledge… I’m saying go to school and get a job first, be able to support yourself before you start enjoying it too much. As I have my friends who went to school and are on their way to being doctors/social workers/welders/teachers and can support themselves and enjoy it whilst being productive and a benefit to society and a joy to have around. However I also have my friends who haven’t gone to school and go from job to job and cannot afford to smoke weed because they should be spending that money on things such as rent, food and umm THEIR FUTURE. 14$/ an hour is hard to live on forever. However they are so baked all the time that this does not phase them as something they need to do. When the worries come it’s time to get lit up and forget about them. Sit on the couch all day with that sick day I just took but didn’t need because I wanted to watch movies all day and munch out. It’s funny a little bit because in no way is anything harmful or illegal occuring. The only thing their guilty of is being lazy as shit. Or chilllll mannn. It’s also interesting because this is the worse case scenario with people who abuse weed and do nothing else, its a lack of productivity. Really nobody should go to jail for that. Their parents/friends or whoever else cares and is watching really should tell them to get off their asses though. If their’s one thing iv been told and am gradually coming to believe on the verge of my 21st birthday it’s that after school the years go by MUCH FASTER. Thirty is just around the corner, as is forty and fifty etc. So you have dreams of starting a family? Well better hope you find a rich wife/husband because otherwise your bringing a child into a world where you couldn’t afford yourself and now your well intentionedly believing you can afford them. Reality checks hurt when their’s no money for food, school, christmas.

 

Well, I feel better now having ranted. I supposed how i’m going to end this is do you agree disagree? Are you one of those people that weed has benefited? Or are you one of those people who an increased anxiety from it? How do your experiences differ from mine, everyone elses?

 

Hope everyone has a merry christmas!

xo kandis marie

 

When every piece of you is pulling a different way

What do you really want…

It seems like i’ve lost all contact with who I am or was, highschool ended and things changed. The friends I grew up with moved or went off to college, as I knew they would. I stayed in the same place however, I had aspirations of school and travel but I wasn’t ready for them right away. I still wanted to play. It seems when you play though, the things you want to be and aren’t come out. Partying was something I was never allowed to do in highschool so I felt I missed out on a large portion of being a teenager. Missed out on the excitement and was in bed well before anybody I knew my age was. Also due to my lack of social exploitation I had very few friends in highschool, which at the time I always considered a misfortune for I always desired the life where everyone smiles your way when they see you. Even if it’s pretend, you can always see through the kidders. What I realise now that i’ve experienced all that after highschool is I no longer trust a soul, the friends i’ve made are either a slave to their own demon they’re fighting or just hang out with me because we have a symbiotic relationship when it comes to smoking weed or drinking. When you cut those parts of your life out you realise nobody is there anymore. They forget about you and move on. As they should. Why slow down on what their doing when they’re having so much “fun.” Worse even is when you first realise your solitude in friendship. You know that the effort is up to you and if you quit making it your social desires will go unhindered and you’ll fall into that pit everyone hates called loneliness. You realise you either take the unhealthy lifestyle and remain happy for the moment or say goodbye and start from scratch. Beginnings are always scary though and endings are hard. I realise at this point I miss my friends who didn’t care whether I smoked weed or drank. We hung out because we genuinely enjoyed each other and complimented each others pressence. Cutting ties to those relationships as we parted ways after highschool makes it hard to rekindle what was. We all could very well be different people now, more disheartening is they could be happier in their new life then their old one that I was a part of. So where do I go now? I could spin the bottle or roll the dice or flip a coin and be miles further at making a decision then if I just rely on myself to come up with the answer. A true procrastinator at heart, iv always been. I guess the best answer I can give myself for the moment is to hold faith, read more and stay true to what my gut is telling me. Go out less, quit everything that put’s me in negative positions and if those friends call you to come out for something simple like dinner or movies, then go. You are not obligated to drink during this dinner, or get baked before those movies. The choice is always yours. You make your own path, choose your own life. Real friends will accept that and love you, aquaintances will move on & that’s just the facts of life. Never hold somebodys decision against them for it is all their own. Even if you feel like it was the wrong one. Worry about yourself, look after yourself, love yourself. Only you honestly will in the end. If by chance you do find somebody who wants to love you more then you love yourself and you feel the same. Do all you can to show it, those who love us most are sometimes those who remain in our life for the shortest time. Cherish those memories. Treat them well, life has a funny way of biting you in the butt if you don’t. Breathe, live, laugh & lovee. The stresses of today are proof that what you value isin’t worth it, if it was, you’d be happy.

What are two good things about group work?what are two things that are not so good?

In all honesty im not overly fond of group work because im people shy. However. I suppose when thinking back on random stuff iv heard.

-Two heads thinking together is always better then one, why? Probably because you get a bigger array of ideas.

-The work can probably get done faster if shared equally between the two people.

Bad things about partners?

-chatting and getting nothing done.

-not getting along with that person could make things awkward.

What did you do over the long weekend?

   On Thursday I worked and then went to a ladies night at errrinsss! Which was pretty magical. Then. I went home and slept.  Friday I worked again! Then. Went out with my friend who moved away to regina to go to school and met a sweet hippi named Mick of Mack. Something like that. And that was magical. He had a light up jesus monument in his home that changed depending on where you were standing. Neato.  Saturday my work got mad at me because I wouldn’t go in because I wanted to see my sister in “Once upon a matress” she was the evil queen. Well not evil. More so overly angry vain queen. She kicked ass. Sunday I went into work and got a lecture. I also ate cookies. Which was nice.

 

KMH

No sooner spoken, then broken?

Is it a promise?

Possibly?

What can you catch, but not throw?

gahhhh.

A COLD

What did you do for rememberance day?

   My rememberance day was very uneventful, I woke up around 9:30. Lounged around on different surfaces of the couch drinking coffee till about 12:00 which is when I peaced off to work where I stayed until 8:30. So…yesss…. Rememberance day…probably not the biggest success of one I’ve ever experienced. But. My mom celebrated it or remembered it. So. Yay mom!

 

KMH

What year was the internet created?

 The internet was apparently created in 1973. Don’t quote me on it…Wikipedia…is not always correct…but… i’ve put my trust in it hoping it does me right and proves it’s worth!!!

Yay wikipedia.

KMH